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Friendship With Your Ex Remains An Error – Counselor Explains


A couple of people still find it difficult to accept why you should not be friends with your Ex. It’s fine to disagree, everyone has an opinion but the fact remains one.
Permit me to educate you more on this. Some people have argued that the reason why they can be friends with their Ex is because of their state of maturity; that they are able to set limits and parameters, able to set rules and boundaries.
I wonder if they have control over their emotions too? If they do, what about their Ex’s feelings? No matter how disciplined or careful you are, you will most definitely lose your senses and balance when you get drunk.
A drink has made people sleep in the gutter and act in certain ways they wouldn’t have acted if not under the influence of alcohol; making them take decisions they have regretted.

Falling in love is similar to getting drunk; you lost your sense of control and were drunk with feelings; what if you ended the relationship but unknown to you, your Ex still holds on to some feelings, in the hope of getting you back; hearing their voice only once has the power to bring old flames back to life; one look has the power to make you look shy like a kid who doesn’t know what to do; one touch has the power to make you fall like a demon under the anointing of the Holy Spirit.
Feelings and lust don’t respect anyone; not your degree, structure or social standing; there are big people in history who have fallen because they allowed feelings in for just a while. If you are not ready to let go, there is no need disturbing another person. But if you have the courage to let go, then safeguard what you have now and protect your blessing. Even God had to use Cherubim and a flaming sword to block Adam and Eve from the Tree of Life for their own good.
The bible warns us in 2 Timothy 2:22a (NLT) “Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts”. The question is, when you call your Ex, for the first two minutes, what will you talk about? What do you have in common? What do your share? What will be the interest or agenda for such a conversation? Surely there will be nothing to talk about if you have really moved on. Otherwise you only rekindle the old flames, visit memory lanes, make your Ex your counselor to seek for advice when things goes wrong in your new relationship, or give you a listening ear when you have issues with your partner; they now act as a temporary support system when you lack something in your relationship.
By so doing, you don’t make your present relationship work. If you can’t let go of your Ex, it means you still love them, you still have strong passions for them. The bible says “Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be” – Matthew 6:21 (NLT).

The best way to cure someone of an infection is to do away with the infected place. You either treat or cut off the infected part in order to save the rest of the body.
Truth be told, the worst kind of weight any partner can gain is the weight of having to carry a weak partner who doesn’t know what they want, they become a burden on the other. It’s so hard to pretend to be friends with your Ex when every time you look at them or hear them, all you see or hear is everything you wanted to have before.
In conclusion “We are tempted by our own desires that drag us off and trap us” – James 1:14 (CEV).
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